10 Things To Do When You Hit Rock Bottom

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to move ahead to the next level in your life. I am here to tell you that it is not a fun place to be in, but there are some things that you can do right now to help you get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you feel like you are in a rut and don’t know what to do next, here is a starting point.

1) Accept responsibility for where you are.

The decisions you made in the past somehow played a part in you being in the space you are in right now in your life. Own those decisions and understand where you went wrong so you don’t face those same lessons over and over again.

2) Let go of everything.

Sometime you have to shy away from everything to regain yourself back. Let go of the negative habits, the naysayers, the bad influences, and even your own negative thoughts. It won’t be easy, but it will damn well be worth it.

3) Stop playing the blame game.

Even if it wasn’t ALL your fault, you played a role in it. Even if it was just your reaction to something that happened, it still played a part. Even if you listened to your friend and things didn’t go right, you still played a part in it. You will NEVER move ahead in your life if you are constantly blaming others.

4) Use rock bottom as your foundation to rebuild.

You have a new opportunity, a second chance, to get it right. Build a strong foundation and you will weather any storm that comes. A weak foundation can seem stable for a while and when the littlest storm comes can crumble in an instant.

5) Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.

It probably won’t feel good and it may even hurt a bit, but when you allow yourself to feel, you allow yourself to start healing. When you mask your feeling they only get worse and even unbearable.

6) Make peace with where you are.

I am not saying accept where you are and get comfortable, but I am saying embrace the space in your life where you are at this moment and acknowledge that you are working to grow and move to a better space.

7) Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.

Few people live up to the Fasad they portray on social media. While you are comparing yourself to someone else’s end, that exact point may only be your starting point, but you feel you are behind or not enough because you are not there yet. Your journey is your journey….and no one else can compare to that.

8) Stop closing yourself off from others.

A solid support system will help you stay motivated and accountable.

9) Realize this darkness won’t least forever.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. This is just a page in the book of your life, it’s time to turn the page.

10) Recreate your life.

So what your life in the past went to hell. This is a new chapter a blank page…What are you going to fill it with?

This blog post comes straight from my YouTube video that goes more in-depth on each of these ways you can start rebuilding your life from rock bottom up. Watch the video here…

Watch Now!

#METOO – My Story of Being Sexually Assaulted

#METOO – It happened when I was 14. He was a deacon of the church I grew up in and still attended regularly. He was well known in the community. He assisted in church and was at some youth group activities. He tried to rape me with my grandmother and his wife in another room of the house. I fought like hell to get away from him as he was literally trying to rip my clothes off of my body. He touched me in places that weren’t for him to touch. His saliva still wet on my shirt after I finally got away from him by literally digging my nails into his hand with every bit of my might. I had never even kissed a boy, yet this grown man in less than 10 minutes tried to take every bit of my innocence away.

I spoke up and told my mom and my grandma only because my grandma heard him scream as I was running away from him and she made me call my mom. From the police to the church, I felt like they made him the victim and I was the perpetrator. His wife said I was lying and that her husband was an honorable man that would never do anything like that. The police and church both asked what I did to provoke it. I felt dirty like something was wrong with me. I started thinking that it was my fault, like somehow or someway I caused it. I stopped going to church for a long time because they still allowed him to attend there. Apparently being a high up deacon at the church somehow made him not accountable for his actions and it made him immune to any repercussions. The 14 year old girl who loved church and was in everything from youth group and Sunday School to Bible Drill and Choir who felt like church was a safe haven and place where she could go to worship God now felt it was a place of pain, destruction, abandonment and lies. I already felt like I didn’t have a voice from the bullying I experienced growing up and this made me close off myself even more from the world. I felt like no one cared to listen. I didn’t matter. This experience caused deep self-hatred for many years and made me resent churches. It took me years to go back to one. This wasn’t my only experience being sexually assaulted or harrassed, but it is the one that had the most impact on me.

I share my story because I want other women to not feel so alone because it can feel really lonely . Here are 3 things I learned from being sexually assaulted:

1.) It is not your fault. Do not let anyone (including yourself) try to turn it around on you. Your body is the body God gave you and someone forcing access to it is them in the wrong. You did not “deserve” what happened to you. You are not to blame.

2.) Your experience can help others (and the process can help you begin to heal yourself). For years after feeling like it was my fault, I refused to talk about it. I hid it deep within me praying and wishing it would just “be erased” from the timeline of my life. It didn’t go away. Not sharing it made it embed even deeper within me and led to depression and self-hatred. When I decided to finally speak up, I found that I was not alone and sharing my story and the release it gave me led to me creating platforms to help other women share their stories (from bullying to sexual assault to overcoming divorce and illness). Everything I have gone through in my life has prepared me for what I am doing now with the #IAmSimplyBeautiful Movement and Fearless Poets.

3. There is life on the other side. In that moment, you may have felt like your life was over and you just wanted to die or for everything to just go away, but you still have your life. Life will continue on. Sometimes you may have to pause and that is okay, but know that this is not the end of your story. God is not done with you yet.

Please #Share this because someone you know needs this and if it is you, know that whether or not you are ready to share your story at this moment in your life, your story matters and YOU matter. You are enough just as you are. I turned my mess into my message and so can you. You are stronger than you know and you are simply beautiful just as you are. Period. Your story is still being written…

#IAmSimplyBeautiful #SexualAssault #SelfLove #YouAreEnough #NotYourFault

I Jumped — And got the girls bunnies and got peed on in the process!

Bunny 3Sooo, although I love animal pictures, watching animals from afar and even chill-axing with some animals for a minute or so, I haven’t really (besides our dog Buddy and that little turtle named Cupid) had many pets recently.

Last week, I was in an UBER good mood as I headed out to Phoenyx’s 4H Fun Day where we got to hold and pet a slew of different animals and welp, you may have guess it already but I fell in love with the bunnies. So cute. So cuddly. So well behaved. Yep, let gets one. No, lets get two. And in that moment, we added two baby rabbits to our family. After my good mood wore of, I started second-guessing my decision to get two, but it was too late. I had already paid for them and was to pick them up a week from that day (yesterday made a week) when they were ready for their new home.

We went and got them from a wonderful young lady who started raising bunnies as a 4HBunny 5project when she herself was in the program during school. We got one black one and named her Leylee (my nickname growing up) and a gray girl that we named Niomi. Well, once all three girls got home and started playing with them, I realized I had done something horribly wrong.

I had TWO bunnies and three girls, so one would always be left out. After contemplating it and my aunt saying something about it as well, we went and got another baby black bunny and named her Evie. Three bunnies for my three princesses.

After we picked up the third bunny, my Awe got kind of spoiled when all three bunnies decided to start pooping at the same time. Three girls yelling, “Help, what do we do?” at the same time. Poopy pellots were shooting out everywhere in the car. On the seats. On the floor. On their laps. Umm….Yikes. I didn’t have a solution, but to throw something under them quick. As I turned the corners to get home, the poopy pellots were rolling around everywhere in the car and just when we though the bunnies had nothing left inside of them, it started shooting out  again.

Call me naive. Call me uneducated on the bunny digestive system, but it was a little bit of a shock to me. I ran to the local pet store to get food and hay for them, but was now like maybe I should have asked them “Do they make bunny diapers??”  LOL Needless to say, the princesses are so happy to have their new friends and just in time to enjoy then on Easter (their one month birthday).

Ohh and how did I get peed on? Well, I had Leylee ( Amiyah’s Bunny) on my lap after I just took a bath and put on my brand new nightgown with coffee cups on it. Leylee was running around the couch and jumped on my belly and I felt something warm and wet and I froze. Wait one second…Did this bunny just pee all over my new gown? I stripped naked in the living room, got cleaned up and needless to say, the bunnies were put up for the night.

This is going to be an interesting journey…Stay tuned for more!

{Interview} The Total Tutor Neil Haley interviews Fearless Poet/Visionary Mompreneur/Activist Ashley Love. 04/07/2017

Total Education Network Syndicated 120 Plus Stations 2.5 Million Listeners a week including #iHeartRadio.

//percolate.blogtalkradio.com/offsiteplayer?hostId=144841&episodeId=9932021

{New York Times} A Dream Come True

unnamedAs a child growing up in New Orleans, I always loved to write. I would ask for pens and journals instead of toys on Christmas and my birthday. Besides the desire to have a  book published (and now I have 5  of my own and 2 that I  co-authored under my belt), I always dreamed of being in The New York Times and recently I was interviewed regarding my activism work to bring home the #MissingDCGirls and the fact that it was trending on Twitter at the time. The reporter reached out to me first after I was actively tweeting using the hashtag. Hashtags are POWERFUL! When the article came out, I was so super excited just to see me, my name, this girl from Louisiana in The New York Times!

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Click here to read the full article!