Focus on Specifics to Defuse Your Inner Naysayer (DAY #18 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Hey Beautiful!!

Your inner naysayer thrives on the unknown. When things are ambiguous or uncertain, fear can set in. It’s only natural and is part of the human condition. That voice inside your head that’s trying desperately to keep you safe will see the unknown as a threat. That’s when you’ll start to experience a flood of negative self-talk. One sure way to combat these negative messages is by having a plan. Focus on specifics to defuse your inner naysayer. Let me show you how.

Know the Details

When you start to recognize your inner naysayer rearing its pesky head, it’s a good idea to see if you can start putting together some details. This can alleviate some of the anxiety you’re feeling. For instance, if you’re worried about applying for a promotion at work, you’ll want to start making a list of your unique qualifications. You’ll need this information in order to ace the interview, anyway. Gathering it now will push you forward and give you the confidence to apply. With these details, you can counter the negative messages your inner critic is sending.

Make a Plan

Once you have some of the details and evidence together to help hush your inner naysayer, you can begin to formulate a plan to move you forward. To stay with the last example, strategize for a potential interview. Make sure your resume is up to date and that it looks professional. Prepare for potential questions you could be asked. Pull together a stellar reference list. Ask questions of any insiders you might know who could provide you some insight into what the interview will be like. Add anything you can think of to solidify your plan. Your inner critic can’t really argue with someone who has a strategy in place.

Write a List

Sometimes your inner naysayer’s voice can be incredibly loud. You might be feeling too overwhelmed and defeated to gather all the details and make a fully formulated plan. That’s okay. Even a small step can help you to at least quiet your inner critic. This can buy you some time and create some breathing room for formulating a plan later. Just writing a list of things that go against the messages your naysayer is telling you might help. Perhaps jotting down just three things that qualify you for the promotion can boost your confidence enough to consider applying for the job.   These tips can help you to get a handle on your inner naysayer. Just taking a few small actions is often enough to provide you with a more realistic view of the situation. Give this approach a shot next time you’re feeling pressure from your inner critic.

If you are looking for accountability and a network of women who want to support you, head on over to HB SQUAD and tomorroow I am sharing how to practice mindfullness to increase your self-love. See you later!

XOXO,

Ashley

Reframe Your Negative Self-talk Into Something More Productive (DAY #17 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Hey beautiful!

Yesterday, I talked about the importance of journaling and practicing gratitude on a daily basis. I ask you to commit for the next month to writing down at least 3 things that you are thankful for each and every day. When I take that few minutes to be thankful for what I have, it helps me to have a better outlook about my day and to have a better mindset. Today, I am going to help you turn reframe your negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is made up of the messages your inner naysayer tells you. It comes from the beliefs you hold about yourself, based on what others have expressed to you throughout your life and the feelings you have internalized. These messages may seem like they’re meant to protect you, but they usually just end up holding you back and making you feel bad about yourself. Because you’ve been formulating and accepting these messages nearly your entire life, they can be difficult to overcome. However, it’s not impossible to combat them. It just takes some practice and effort to start to learn new habits and form healthier mindsets. Take a look at these ways to reframe your negative self-talk into something more productive.

Recognize Your Inner Naysayer

As we’ve noted previously in this series, it’s crucial that you recognize your inner naysayer if you hope to learn to manage it. Pay attention to the automatic thoughts that pop into your head that trigger a strong negative reaction in you. Feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, worry, or dread can be indicators that these thoughts are your subconscious working as a defense mechanism. Once you recognize your negative self-talk, you can start to analyze it and determine whether it’s true.

Consider the Evidence

Don’t hesitate to take these negative messages apart bit by bit. Examine them thoroughly, analyze them, and listen to your gut to discover whether the words are true or if they’re simply automatic thoughts you’ve come to adopt over time due to your insecurities. We all have hang-ups that we’ve developed throughout our lives in various ways. That doesn’t mean these things are true. Look for evidence for and against what your self-talk is telling you. This objectivity can shed a lot of light on the issue.

Make It Realistic

If the evidence points to the fact that your internal messages are wrong or exaggerated, it’s time to frame them in a more realistic way. Look for words like “always” or “never.” These absolutes are easy to change into more realistic statements. Other messages you’re giving yourself can probably also be reframed into statements that make more sense. Once you begin to view your self-talk in realistic terms, you’ll start to feel more secure in yourself.

These are some things to consider when your inner naysayer takes over. Reframing your negative self-talk into something more productive takes practice, but it’s well worth the effort. Doing so will move you closer to embracing self-love.

I hope that you will be alert to when your inner naysayer shows up and begin creating realistic self-talk. Remember, your brain doesn’t know the difference between lies and the truth, so you can’t expect to constantly feed it lies and expect it to spit you out the truth.

Join us in our private group where we have amazing women sharing their journeys and tips around self-love and creating wealth. See you on the inside.

XOXO,

Ashley

Simple Journaling Idea – Focus on What You Did Well Today (DAY #16 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Journaling is an activity that can benefit you in so many ways, and there are many different kinds of journals you can keep. This is an underrated ritual that can truly help you toward increasing your self-love. One simple journaling idea is to just focus on what you did well each day. It involves finding one thing that you did or accomplished that made you feel good. This one little act can have surprising results. Continue reading to discover more about journaling and how this practice can enhance the amount of self-love you feel.

About Journaling

Journaling is pretty much what it sounds like. It involves writing your thoughts in a dedicated place on a regular basis. This can be in a traditional paper journal or you can choose a digital format. Your journal doesn’t have to be fancy. It can be a simple college-ruled notebook or the notes app on your phone. If you want to make it more personal or detailed, choose a beautifully bound leather journal or an app with lots of features dedicated to the practice of journaling. What matters is that you use it on a regular basis to help process your thoughts in some way. You can free write, jot down what you’re grateful for, or follow writing prompts. There are countless ways to use your journal.

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Benefits of Journaling

The benefits of journaling are numerous. Keeping a journal can help you to gather your thoughts and make sense of your feelings. It can help you to note patterns in your life, helping you to make change. Writing in your journal can be cathartic and help you to heal past traumas. It can improve your emotional intelligence and relationships by helping you get in touch with and make sense of your feelings. Journaling can create a sense of mindfulness, focusing you on the here and now. It can also spark your creativity by providing you with an outlet for your thoughts, feelings, and moods.

Why Journal Your Accomplishments?

Taking the time at the end of each day to journal just one good thing you did that day can be an empowering exercise. As you already know, it can be so easy to give into that naysayer and listen to the negative messages in your mind. You forget about your positive qualities and what you do well. Even the smallest thing can count. Writing down these accomplishments boosts your self-esteem. It also gives you written validation to return to on the days you’re feeling down or defeated. Just look back through these journal entries to see all the ways you’ve been successful, and you’ll see just how capable you are and that you will succeed in the future. Hopefully, you now see how such a simple journaling technique can make a big difference when it comes to changing a negative mindset. Give it a try and see how it works for you.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog on reframing negative self-talk and join me in at HBSQUAD.com for more great ways to grow as the amazing woman that you are.

XOXO,

Ashley

The Power of Positive Pep Talks (DAY #15 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

We’ve discussed your inner naysayer and how to manage it. That little voice inside your head tries to protect you by telling you negative things. Sometimes, it’s possible that it could be your intuition keeping you safe. Often, it’s merely a defense mechanism holding you back from bigger things. One of the best and most positive ways to drown out your inner critic, overcome fear, and move forward in your life is to reframe those negative messages into more positive and realistic ones. There’s nothing like the power of pep talks to help give you the confidence you need to embrace self-love. Read on to learn how these affirmations work and why you should be giving yourself pep talks on a regular basis.

Benefits of Pep Talks

Positive pep talks can totally turn a bad day around or help to give you confidence to pursue something that’s intimidating. They can help you to see yourself in a different light and improve your mood. By reframing your negative thinking, you’re breaking a pattern that leads to stagnation and negativity. Instead of failing to venture forward, take a chance, or try something new, giving yourself a pep talk can help to remind yourself that you’re a worthwhile person who is capable of great things. Positive self-talk can interrupt a damaging cycle of self-defeating thinking to help you push past negative emotions like fear and insecurity.

How They Work

There are lots of ways you can give yourself a positive pep talk. They don’t have to be grandiose gestures, either. If you’re uncomfortable with heaping praise on yourself, something as simple as writing a list of your positive qualities can help immensely. This is also a good way to gain confidence and momentum toward learning to give yourself bigger pep talks. Some people might actually like the idea of giving themselves a proper pep talk in front of a mirror, looking at their reflection and talking to it as they would a good friend. This is an excellent option. If you’re in a public place and need a pick-me-up, taking a moment to silently remind yourself of your positive qualities and abilities can be a fine way of pushing past your inner naysayer.

Pep Talks and Self-Love

The very act of giving yourself a pep talk is an act of self-love. It’s purposefully taking time to focus on your worth and to say positive things about yourself. It helps boost confidence. Pep talks serve as a reminder of all the good things you have to offer. The better you become at boosting yourself up when things get tough or when the negative self-talk is too much, the easier it will become. Before long, you’ll notice that you automatically feel worthy and confident enough in yourself to manage the negative messages that come your way.

Give it a try. Practice giving yourself positive pep talks to see what a difference it makes in your life and how it impacts the self-love you’re able to express. WATCH MY VIDEO WITH 25 SUCCESS AFFIRMATIONS for ideas on affirmations you can say to yourself to reprogram your mindset.

Each week we have amazing women going live at HBSQUAD.COM to help you with your mindset, pursuing your passion and helping you create the life you desire. Join us over there and grab a pen and paper because tomorrow we are talking about journaling your way to self-love.

XOXO,

Ashley

How Self-Love Can Reduce Stress and Anxiety (DAY #14 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Hi Beautiful!

We are officially two weeks in and I am so excited about today’s topic. Yesterday, I talked about how to become aware when you inner naysayer pops up and today I am going to share with you how self -love can reduce stress and anxiety.

Stress and anxiety go hand in hand. When you feel stressed or anxious, your physical and mental wellbeing can suffer. You’re not living your best quality of life if you experience these things on a regular basis. Learning to love yourself can help to greatly reduce feelings of overwhelm. Understanding how these emotions manifest in the body and the ways that self-love can combat them can help you to begin the work toward valuing yourself more on your way to feeling better. Take a look below to learn how self-love can reduce stress and anxiety.

About Stress and Anxiety

Stress arises due to demands that are put on your body and brain. In today’s busy world, we’re expected to do so much and have so many obligations. It’s only natural that we will experience stress. You likely experience stress quite often if you have a demanding job, family responsibilities, or a full plate of commitments. Anxiety can be the result of stress. It’s feelings of worry, fear, or dread. Sometimes these feelings are just under the surface. Other times, they can be quite severe. Stress and anxiety can lead to physical health problems as well as aggravate mental health conditions.

Why Self-Love Matters

A strong sense of self-love can help to combat stress and anxiety. When you value yourself, you take care of you. You put yourself first and prioritize your happiness. This gives you a strong foundation to make decisions that are in your best interest, rather than falling prey to things that lead to stress and anxiety. When you love yourself, you learn to set boundaries. You won’t be as apt to give into people pleasing, overscheduling, or allowing disrespect. Knowing your worth lets you take your own needs into consideration and can greatly aid in lowering the demands placed upon you from others or even your own inner naysayer.

Tips to Get Started

There are ways you can practice self-love that will help you to greatly reduce the stress and anxiety in your life. Simply taking time to remind yourself of your value is a good start. When you feel that you’re worthwhile, you’re better prepared to stand up to pressure from others or even yourself. Protect yourself from negative influences by removing toxic people from your life. Let go of folks who regularly cause you to feel bad or anxious. Listen to your internal messages. When you hear your inner naysayer pop up, take the time to examine what it’s telling you and then reframe the message in a way that’s more realistic. You’ll be better prepared to deal with any issues in a healthy and proactive way that doesn’t lead you to feeling stressed out.

Increasing your self-love can go a long way toward decreasing stress and anxiety. Give these tips a try to start feeling more in control and lowering the unnecessary demands in your life. You’ll start to notice that you feel lighter and better prepared to defend your boundaries when you develop a strong sense of who you are.

If you want to connect with women who want to support you on your journey, visit HBSQUAD.com and tomorrow we are talking how powerful pep talks can be.

XOXO,

Ashley

Become Aware of When Your Inner Naysayer Pops Up (DAY #13 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Good morning beautiful!

Can you believe we are almost two weeks in? If you have missed any posts in this series so far, I recommend you go back and read them in order. There is so much valuable information to help you become your best self and stop your inner naysayer that you don’t want to miss out.

Yesterday, I talked about how to embrace self-love without becoming a narcissist or even fear of becoming a narcissist and today I am going to dive a little deeper on how you can become aware of when your inner naysayer pipes up in your head.

Recognizing and becoming aware of your inner naysayer can be tremendously difficult. This is especially true because you’ve probably been living with it for as long as you can remember. That little voice that tells you all sorts of negative things about yourself and your abilities is there to act as a defense mechanism. You may even think it’s protecting you. Unfortunately, what it usually ends up doing is holding you back.

You can take positive steps to manage that voice and overcome its effects if you don’t recognize it when it pipes up. That’s why today’s post is going to tackle that topic and give you concrete strategies to become aware of when your inner naysayer pops up. Check them out.

Challenge Your Thoughts

When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself or your abilities, try to challenge that thought immediately. Ask yourself if it’s entirely true. Identify which parts may not be true. Then, try to counter it with a more realistic and accurate message. This can be quite challenging at first, but it will begin to be automatic after significant practice.

Let It Go

When you do notice your inner critic nagging at you, acknowledge it, reframe the message into something more positive, and then let it go. Try not to obsess over the untruths your naysayer is telling you. This is called rumination, and it can keep you in a pattern of negativity. It’s hard to move to a place of self-love when you’re stuck in a cycle of worry.

Consider the Worst-Case Scenario

What if your naysayer is telling you the truth, and the worst should happen? Sometimes, letting that scenario play out in your head can actually show you that you don’t have that much to lose, after all. That thing you fear might not be so bad in reality. Therefore, you shouldn’t let the idea of it scare you away from trying something new or going after what you want. You no longer need to worry about what others think or if something won’t turn out well when you realize the worst-case scenario really isn’t that terrible.

Accept Your Flaws

While it’s good to analyze negative messages and refute them, it’s also okay to recognize your flaws. None of us is perfect. When you are strong enough to admit there are things you could work on or improve upon, you’re demonstrating self-love. it can be hard to face our own difficulties. Knowing you have flaws and looking for ways to improve upon them shows emotional intelligence and courage. Embrace your weakness and strive for self-improvement on a regular basis.

Give these strategies a shot in order to be aware of and manage your inner naysayer. You’ll find it’s not so hard once you get the hang of it, and you’ll feel so much better once you master this skill.

Join a community of women want to support on your self-love journey at HBSQUAD.com and tomorrow I am giving you all the details on how self-love can improve stress and anxiety.

XOXO,

Ashley