Official Ashley A. Love

We are almost 10 days in which means we are almost 1/3 done this series and I hope you are learning a lot about yourself and are focusing on growing as a woman as each day passes. Yesterday, I talked about how important it is to realize that YOU ARE NOT A LABEL. Today, I am going to begin the conversation around that negative little voice in your head and whether or not you should be listening…

No matter how much you’ve internalized the concept of self-love, you probably still have an inner naysayer nagging at you. That inner voice that is constantly giving us messages is there for nearly everyone. Your inner naysayer can often be quite a pest, telling you all sorts of negative things that hurt your self-esteem and make you second-guess yourself. But sometimes that voice can be useful. Let’s take a look at when you should listen to your inner naysayer and when you should ignore it.

About Your Inner Naysayer

Your inner naysayer can be due to a lot of different things. Regardless of its purpose, it’s your inner voice that is trying to tell you something or guide you. The name “naysayer” implies negativity. Therefore, the things this voice has to say are usually negative in nature. Each person’s inner naysayer is unique. The messages they give are based upon your own individual life experience and personality. Your inner naysayer is trying to protect you in most cases, even if that protection ends up hindering you or limiting you in some way.

When to Listen

Sometimes you should take heed when you hear your inner naysayer giving you a message. In order to know whether the message is helpful or not, it’s important to take time to dissect it. Ask yourself some questions. Is it realistic? Is it helpful? Is it true? If the answer to these questions is yes, you should listen. For example, you may want to go on a date with someone new, but you keep having nagging thoughts telling you to stay home. Sit quietly and think about the reasons your inner voice is telling you not to go out with this person. If you see red flags or feel this person isn’t being truthful, listen to your gut. It’s there to protect you physically and emotionally.

When Not to Listen

Often times, we let negative messages that others have given us stick with us through life. We may internalize them as our own and adopt them as self-defeating beliefs. Let’s explore the above date scenario further. Your inner naysayer is telling you not to go out with your potential date. Why is it saying that? If it’s because you’re not attractive enough or smart enough for them, that’s likely insecurity talking. Go on the date and give it a shot. Don’t let your insecurities win out.

Your inner naysayer is usually there to protect you. Perhaps it’s acting as a defense mechanism and repeating insecurities you’ve internalized about yourself. Maybe it’s a warning from your gut reminding you to heed red flags. Take time to listen to your inner naysayer before deciding how to act. You’ll know whether to give in or not.

If you are loving this series, let me know. Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, & Instagram and join our community of amazing women at hbsquad.com. Tomorrow is day 10 and I will help you recognize when your naysayer pops up in your head.