What You May Be Missing if You Listen to That Inner Naysayer (DAY #20 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

We’ve discovered that your inner naysayer is usually trying to protect you from something with its negative messages. Sometimes this presents itself as your intuition or gut protecting you from real harm, and you should learn to identify this voice and listen to it. Most often, however, your inner critic is acting in a defensive way to keep your ego from getting bruised. It can truly hold you back from having some great experiences. That’s when you really want to employ strategies to manage that nagging voice.

You’ve learned a number of ways to recognize and deal with your negative self-talk. Today, we’ll cover one more. Examining the things this inner dialogue is keeping you from can push you forward and help you to overcome the damaging effects of that little voice. Take a look below to learn how you can focus on what you may be missing when you listen to your inner naysayer. Once you know what’s at stake, you’ll be more apt to take positive actions that can lead to tremendous personal reward.

What You’re Protecting

When you give in to your inner naysayer, you are protecting yourself from a number of things. You can avoid hurt or embarrassment if you decide not to try something new. Avoiding risks rewards you with a feeling of safety. You protect yourself from rejection, failure, or vulnerability. It’s very tempting to give into your inner critic. It can feel much safer to simply not try than to put yourself out there. It’s self-protection.

What You’re Missing

Listening to that inner critic can feel like such a relief. It takes the pressure off and saves you from trying something hard. However, it can also keep you from experiencing something great. It also often leaves you with the regret of what could have been. Instead, learning to recognize and push past your inner naysayer can bring you rewards beyond your imagination. Think of the friendships, romances, career successes, passions, and novelties you can experience if you silence that critic and do the thing.

What You Have to Gain

You have so many amazing things to gain by ignoring your inner naysayer. Beyond the wonderful experiences, you’ll gain confidence and self-esteem. The more you practice ignoring your negative self-talk, the easier it will become. You’ll soon notice you have the confidence to try more things because you’ve learned that you can do it and the world doesn’t end. You’ll have more fun, meet more people, try new things, and just feel better about yourself when you learn to overcome that inner naysayer.

Keep these tips in mind the next time self-doubt tries to hold you back. Do it, anyway. Then, see how good you feel. 🙂 Tomorrow, I will be talking about what being brave really means. If you would like more inspiration and support, visit HBSQUAD.com. See you on the inside!

XOXO,

Ashley

Practice Mindfulness to Feel Better About Yourself (DAY #19 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Hi Beautiful!

You may have heard of the practice of mindfulness. It’s become all the rage in new age philosophy. And for good reason. This simple concept can deliver powerful results. Mindfulness is really just being aware of yourself and your emotions in the present moment. It involves bringing your thoughts back to the present when they begin to wander, much like meditation.

Mindfulness is knowing where your attention lies. You can use this concept when you discover that your inner naysayer is sending you negative messages. You’ve learned some strategies for recognizing this inner critic. One other way to overcome it is to use mindfulness to manage these thoughts once you recognize them.

Countering your own negative self-talk immediately in the moment with mindfulness is an effective way to deal with it. By managing these messages, you’ll gradually increase your self-esteem. Read on to discover some ways to use mindfulness to feel better about yourself.

Use Visualization

Visualization is a way of helping to make your positive thoughts a reality. When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, counter them with a vision of things going well. Try to include details in that vision, such as what you’re wearing, your surroundings, and even how you feel. Doing this practice routinely has been shown to actually rewire your brain to act as though your vision were actually happening. Over time, you’ll begin to gain the self-confidence you have in your vision.

Examine Your Thoughts

Actually taking time in the moment to examine and counter your negative thoughts is a powerful act of mindfulness. Ask yourself questions about the negative self-talk you just heard. Analyze it. Try to discover its roots or meanings. Getting to the bottom of these messages and their resulting feelings as they’re happening can help you to give them the boot and replace them with kinder thoughts.

Take Risks

Being mindful can also mean being proactive in your actions. Deciding in the moment to try something new or push past your fear to take a risk is a fantastic way to feel more secure in your abilities. You’ll gain lots of strides the more you practice taking risks, so give it a shot today. Feel free to start small and increase your reach over time.

Acknowledge What You’re Doing Right

Counter your thoughts about what an awful person you are or what you’re doing wrong with an acknowledgement of what you’re doing right. There’s always something good about yourself you can note if you dig deep. This will get easier with time, so don’t feel like you have to immediately heap tons of praise upon yourself. Try just taking note of one small thing you’ve done right today to offset the self-critical thought you’re having. Then, see how much lighter your mood feels.

Give these tricks a try when you find yourself succumbing to your inner naysayer. Using mindfulness practices can be a very effective way to overcome your inner naysayer and feel better about yourself.

Join us at HBSQUAD.com for accountability and support and tomorrow you will learn all that you will be missing if you listen to your inner naysayer.

XOXO,

Ashley

Focus on Specifics to Defuse Your Inner Naysayer (DAY #18 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Hey Beautiful!!

Your inner naysayer thrives on the unknown. When things are ambiguous or uncertain, fear can set in. It’s only natural and is part of the human condition. That voice inside your head that’s trying desperately to keep you safe will see the unknown as a threat. That’s when you’ll start to experience a flood of negative self-talk. One sure way to combat these negative messages is by having a plan. Focus on specifics to defuse your inner naysayer. Let me show you how.

Know the Details

When you start to recognize your inner naysayer rearing its pesky head, it’s a good idea to see if you can start putting together some details. This can alleviate some of the anxiety you’re feeling. For instance, if you’re worried about applying for a promotion at work, you’ll want to start making a list of your unique qualifications. You’ll need this information in order to ace the interview, anyway. Gathering it now will push you forward and give you the confidence to apply. With these details, you can counter the negative messages your inner critic is sending.

Make a Plan

Once you have some of the details and evidence together to help hush your inner naysayer, you can begin to formulate a plan to move you forward. To stay with the last example, strategize for a potential interview. Make sure your resume is up to date and that it looks professional. Prepare for potential questions you could be asked. Pull together a stellar reference list. Ask questions of any insiders you might know who could provide you some insight into what the interview will be like. Add anything you can think of to solidify your plan. Your inner critic can’t really argue with someone who has a strategy in place.

Write a List

Sometimes your inner naysayer’s voice can be incredibly loud. You might be feeling too overwhelmed and defeated to gather all the details and make a fully formulated plan. That’s okay. Even a small step can help you to at least quiet your inner critic. This can buy you some time and create some breathing room for formulating a plan later. Just writing a list of things that go against the messages your naysayer is telling you might help. Perhaps jotting down just three things that qualify you for the promotion can boost your confidence enough to consider applying for the job.   These tips can help you to get a handle on your inner naysayer. Just taking a few small actions is often enough to provide you with a more realistic view of the situation. Give this approach a shot next time you’re feeling pressure from your inner critic.

If you are looking for accountability and a network of women who want to support you, head on over to HB SQUAD and tomorroow I am sharing how to practice mindfullness to increase your self-love. See you later!

XOXO,

Ashley

Reframe Your Negative Self-talk Into Something More Productive (DAY #17 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Hey beautiful!

Yesterday, I talked about the importance of journaling and practicing gratitude on a daily basis. I ask you to commit for the next month to writing down at least 3 things that you are thankful for each and every day. When I take that few minutes to be thankful for what I have, it helps me to have a better outlook about my day and to have a better mindset. Today, I am going to help you turn reframe your negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is made up of the messages your inner naysayer tells you. It comes from the beliefs you hold about yourself, based on what others have expressed to you throughout your life and the feelings you have internalized. These messages may seem like they’re meant to protect you, but they usually just end up holding you back and making you feel bad about yourself. Because you’ve been formulating and accepting these messages nearly your entire life, they can be difficult to overcome. However, it’s not impossible to combat them. It just takes some practice and effort to start to learn new habits and form healthier mindsets. Take a look at these ways to reframe your negative self-talk into something more productive.

Recognize Your Inner Naysayer

As we’ve noted previously in this series, it’s crucial that you recognize your inner naysayer if you hope to learn to manage it. Pay attention to the automatic thoughts that pop into your head that trigger a strong negative reaction in you. Feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, worry, or dread can be indicators that these thoughts are your subconscious working as a defense mechanism. Once you recognize your negative self-talk, you can start to analyze it and determine whether it’s true.

Consider the Evidence

Don’t hesitate to take these negative messages apart bit by bit. Examine them thoroughly, analyze them, and listen to your gut to discover whether the words are true or if they’re simply automatic thoughts you’ve come to adopt over time due to your insecurities. We all have hang-ups that we’ve developed throughout our lives in various ways. That doesn’t mean these things are true. Look for evidence for and against what your self-talk is telling you. This objectivity can shed a lot of light on the issue.

Make It Realistic

If the evidence points to the fact that your internal messages are wrong or exaggerated, it’s time to frame them in a more realistic way. Look for words like “always” or “never.” These absolutes are easy to change into more realistic statements. Other messages you’re giving yourself can probably also be reframed into statements that make more sense. Once you begin to view your self-talk in realistic terms, you’ll start to feel more secure in yourself.

These are some things to consider when your inner naysayer takes over. Reframing your negative self-talk into something more productive takes practice, but it’s well worth the effort. Doing so will move you closer to embracing self-love.

I hope that you will be alert to when your inner naysayer shows up and begin creating realistic self-talk. Remember, your brain doesn’t know the difference between lies and the truth, so you can’t expect to constantly feed it lies and expect it to spit you out the truth.

Join us in our private group where we have amazing women sharing their journeys and tips around self-love and creating wealth. See you on the inside.

XOXO,

Ashley

Simple Journaling Idea – Focus on What You Did Well Today (DAY #16 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

Journaling is an activity that can benefit you in so many ways, and there are many different kinds of journals you can keep. This is an underrated ritual that can truly help you toward increasing your self-love. One simple journaling idea is to just focus on what you did well each day. It involves finding one thing that you did or accomplished that made you feel good. This one little act can have surprising results. Continue reading to discover more about journaling and how this practice can enhance the amount of self-love you feel.

About Journaling

Journaling is pretty much what it sounds like. It involves writing your thoughts in a dedicated place on a regular basis. This can be in a traditional paper journal or you can choose a digital format. Your journal doesn’t have to be fancy. It can be a simple college-ruled notebook or the notes app on your phone. If you want to make it more personal or detailed, choose a beautifully bound leather journal or an app with lots of features dedicated to the practice of journaling. What matters is that you use it on a regular basis to help process your thoughts in some way. You can free write, jot down what you’re grateful for, or follow writing prompts. There are countless ways to use your journal.

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Benefits of Journaling

The benefits of journaling are numerous. Keeping a journal can help you to gather your thoughts and make sense of your feelings. It can help you to note patterns in your life, helping you to make change. Writing in your journal can be cathartic and help you to heal past traumas. It can improve your emotional intelligence and relationships by helping you get in touch with and make sense of your feelings. Journaling can create a sense of mindfulness, focusing you on the here and now. It can also spark your creativity by providing you with an outlet for your thoughts, feelings, and moods.

Why Journal Your Accomplishments?

Taking the time at the end of each day to journal just one good thing you did that day can be an empowering exercise. As you already know, it can be so easy to give into that naysayer and listen to the negative messages in your mind. You forget about your positive qualities and what you do well. Even the smallest thing can count. Writing down these accomplishments boosts your self-esteem. It also gives you written validation to return to on the days you’re feeling down or defeated. Just look back through these journal entries to see all the ways you’ve been successful, and you’ll see just how capable you are and that you will succeed in the future. Hopefully, you now see how such a simple journaling technique can make a big difference when it comes to changing a negative mindset. Give it a try and see how it works for you.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog on reframing negative self-talk and join me in at HBSQUAD.com for more great ways to grow as the amazing woman that you are.

XOXO,

Ashley

The Power of Positive Pep Talks (DAY #15 OF STOP YOUR INNER NAYSAYER WITH SELF LOVE SERIES)

We’ve discussed your inner naysayer and how to manage it. That little voice inside your head tries to protect you by telling you negative things. Sometimes, it’s possible that it could be your intuition keeping you safe. Often, it’s merely a defense mechanism holding you back from bigger things. One of the best and most positive ways to drown out your inner critic, overcome fear, and move forward in your life is to reframe those negative messages into more positive and realistic ones. There’s nothing like the power of pep talks to help give you the confidence you need to embrace self-love. Read on to learn how these affirmations work and why you should be giving yourself pep talks on a regular basis.

Benefits of Pep Talks

Positive pep talks can totally turn a bad day around or help to give you confidence to pursue something that’s intimidating. They can help you to see yourself in a different light and improve your mood. By reframing your negative thinking, you’re breaking a pattern that leads to stagnation and negativity. Instead of failing to venture forward, take a chance, or try something new, giving yourself a pep talk can help to remind yourself that you’re a worthwhile person who is capable of great things. Positive self-talk can interrupt a damaging cycle of self-defeating thinking to help you push past negative emotions like fear and insecurity.

How They Work

There are lots of ways you can give yourself a positive pep talk. They don’t have to be grandiose gestures, either. If you’re uncomfortable with heaping praise on yourself, something as simple as writing a list of your positive qualities can help immensely. This is also a good way to gain confidence and momentum toward learning to give yourself bigger pep talks. Some people might actually like the idea of giving themselves a proper pep talk in front of a mirror, looking at their reflection and talking to it as they would a good friend. This is an excellent option. If you’re in a public place and need a pick-me-up, taking a moment to silently remind yourself of your positive qualities and abilities can be a fine way of pushing past your inner naysayer.

Pep Talks and Self-Love

The very act of giving yourself a pep talk is an act of self-love. It’s purposefully taking time to focus on your worth and to say positive things about yourself. It helps boost confidence. Pep talks serve as a reminder of all the good things you have to offer. The better you become at boosting yourself up when things get tough or when the negative self-talk is too much, the easier it will become. Before long, you’ll notice that you automatically feel worthy and confident enough in yourself to manage the negative messages that come your way.

Give it a try. Practice giving yourself positive pep talks to see what a difference it makes in your life and how it impacts the self-love you’re able to express. WATCH MY VIDEO WITH 25 SUCCESS AFFIRMATIONS for ideas on affirmations you can say to yourself to reprogram your mindset.

Each week we have amazing women going live at HBSQUAD.COM to help you with your mindset, pursuing your passion and helping you create the life you desire. Join us over there and grab a pen and paper because tomorrow we are talking about journaling your way to self-love.

XOXO,

Ashley